It might seem impossible that this girl could ever struggle to find words! Especially once I’ve taken my purple energy pill – washed down by a 5hr energy shot! HA! (Those who were in the Mole this summer know all too well how wound up I get once I take my energy supplements!)
But the thing that I’ve realized is you can talk a lot and not really communicate.
I used to tease my brother about this (although I do the exact same thing). Here is what I mean:
Jody: Is the moon out right now?
Janeil: Well that depends where you live. I mean in some places the moon is out but in other places the sun is out. But to understand the moon you really have to understand the way the world rotates and how the sun works. (20 minutes later and I have forgotten what my question was – BUT I have learned a lot about the sun!!) HA!
As we have started stripping back the darkness that surrounds the Mole I have found my words wanting.
I can talk for hours about: what we’re discovering – the obstacles that are in our way – how ill-equipped we often feel – the conversations we have with locals that leave us confused- the conversations we have with the police that leave us speechless- the hopelessness that is trying to overpower our prayers.
Yes I could talk for hours…..and yet never really communicate – The sleeplessness. The tears. The frustrations. The weight of it. The reality of it.
I love that I can just look at Christ and He immediately knows – without me saying a word….