I’m sitting in my office for the first time since we’ve been here (because we just got power)- tears streaming down my cheeks. I have felt more than overwhelmed the last few days. I spent most of the weekend with major migraines. I’ve been talking to Heather via email and she suggested I just sit down and tell God all about how I’m feeling. So I did – so I am. I’ve sat here already for several hours – reading my Bible and listening to worship music.
My mind is focused a lot on this upcoming trip to Gonaives…….
My mind is focused on many family things………
My mind is focused on all the cities all over the far west – people left homeless and hopeless….
My mind is focused on those that come to me one after another asking for help…………
I was closing out this special time with God and the last song that just came on – moved me to tears. Now that’s not really hard to do these days – to be moved to tears. It’s probably harder NOT to cry during times like these…..
I hadn’t heard this song since I was on the church roof – telling the story of how we got that property and of course who sang this song on the church roof – CURT. Yep – you guessed it. And what do I associate Curt with……Matthew 11. So what have I been telling myself these last few minutes….just give it to God – His burden’s light and His yoke is easy.
Funny how one thing leads to another and yet all things seem to lead back to me giving God the burdens I carry. I know I choose to carry them – it feels too hard sometimes to let them go – I’ve grown so used to carrying them – I’m not used to a lighter load.
As I carry the burden for the people here………this song brought me hope….
As I travel out and all my senses are tested – I will remember this song……
GOD OF THIS CITY
You’re the God of this city
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You Are
Bridge:
For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Chorus:
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here
You’re the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You’re the King above all Kings
You Are
You’re the strength in our weakness
You’re the love to the broken
You’re the joy in the sadness
You Are
You’re the light in this darkness You’re the hope to the hopeless You’re the peace to the restless You Are
Thank you so much for sharing what is on your heart. I always enjoy reading your blogs and was happy to see your brother post on here too. It’s beautiful to see brother and sister working so close together.
I just want you to know that we are praying for you, praying for the mission, and praying for God to bring you peace. So many of us like to carry the burdens when God wants to do that for us. Just know you don’t carry the burdens of the Haitians alone. Many of us who’ve been there do that too.
I certainly carry a burden for the Castillo family and pray and think of you often. We love you all so much. Thanks for writing and allowing us the chance to see just a small part of your world.
I have never met you – I was surfing online about Haiti and somehow came across your blog. I don’t know anything about your family other than what I read. I have never even been to Haiti.
Yet as I read your blogs – I feel like I know you. I feel like I’m apart of this family that I don’t even know. I’ve become an avid reader of your blog now for over a month. I’ve never felt brave enough to comment although I think I check your blog each day.
I just want you to know that someone who doesn’t even know you prays for you and your family and your work in Haiti nearly every day.
I really appreciate your comments. There are days when I feel so alone…..especially the last few days when I have been bombarded with people asking for help. They’ve always come to me – but never like this – not so many all back to back – and not with stories this overwhelming.
I feel blessed to know that people are praying for me and carrying some of these burdens. But you know – you’re not supposed to carry them either!! 🙂
I think God is going to have to beat me with a stick so I’ll listen!
Either God will or I will! jk:) (beat you with a stick that is)
Jody, the only way you can be 100% effective in your ministry in Haiti is to let God carry the tough stuff and you just be the vessel to deliver His help and love to the Haitians, which you are already doing. The people in Haiti are drawn to you because they can see God’s love and compassion in you, otherwise they wouldn’t be coming to you.
Take a deep breath (take 3 or 4) and let God take over driving. When I need a reminder that God is watching over me and helping me, I draw hope from Psalm 121. My grandmother taught it to me as a kid and its one part of God’s word that I rely on daily. There are beautiful mountainsides in Haiti that you can look upon and know that God is there to help, care for and watch over you, your family, the mission and the Haitians.
Wishing I was there to help! Love you, Tracy
Hey Jody,
This is so overwhelming. I too, am praying for your family and the Haitians. I can’t believe the devastation and lack of help. We are collecting some things in our Women 2 Women group here and sending them in the October shipment. I am going to Lagonave in a week and a half, a small island off Haiti that is devastated too. I will be coming to you in March again. Along with praying and acting on God’s word, we’ll all make a difference and get through it. Hang it, you’re awesome and you’re only one person, one mission, one small group. You can’t save everyone, God will speak and tell you His will.
Love,
laura