Posted in Mission Stories

We STILL Need Your Help!

Last year I was so engaged & overwhelmed with caring for my dying sister… and grieving the loss of my best friend & her mother…. that I neglected to advocate for our campus needs! I forgot to ask you to collect items for our yearly shipments: like soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, school supplies, etc

So below is a list of our Campus Dreams & Goals!

We ask that you fervently pray over these needs. In full transparency, I have struggled with my prayer-life… unsure whether God hears my cries or not. There were times where I could barely stand… where I was headed for a violent fall –  had friends not “randomly” reached out and caught me.

But I know God is a GOOD God. I believe in His timing and in His sovereignty.  I do know prayer changes things. This is a world full of hurting people… perhaps you could be the reason that someone else finds their footing.  So pray over our missionaries, our staff, our campus, our needs, our community…. and most importantly your community and your sphere of influence.

Whether you feel called to help us or others…. I encourage you to do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.

The following is a list of projects that we compiled as a staff and believe position us in the best possible way for our ministry.  They’re not necessarily listed by priority….

Basketball Court Covered

  • We would really like to cover the basketball court with a high steel roof.  This way we can do sports ministries on the court even in the daytime without the kids being stuck in the sun.  We’ve tried to do some summer camp activities and the parents were frustrated that their kids were playing games on the court at 2pm in the afternoon.

**Not really sure how much this would cost because it has to be built in a way that we don’t need poles in the middle of the court. We don’t need to build on top of it…but we’d like for it to be hurricane sturdy. 

**

Clinic Expansion ROOF Covered

  • We would like to build a shakoon on top of the clinic. This would be a covered area with no walls. It’s a wooden roof with thatch on it….kind of that Caribbean tiki-post look. The idea is that we can do devotions up there, have meetings up there, it’s another place seminars and daily activities can happen. We can also do weddings up there….in honor of my best friend “The Wedding Lady”.

**We believe this will be $5,000. Steps leading up to this area are already poured thanks to our last team! 

**

Clinic-Supplies

  • When we first built the clinic, we did it with the mindset that it would play a smaller role in the community.  But it has actually become the main facility to go to… especially for pharmacy needs.
  • We have been blessed with start-up funds to expand the clinic – adding a separate pharmacy, lab, & overnight room for patients! This past year we completed this project! The building is ready to be used now…but we need supplies to get everything started.

**We need funds for the “start-up” supplies for the lab. We have all the larger equipment just not the tubes, slides, specimen containers, & smaller individual tests. We have an overnight area for patients – but we need IV bags/tubing and supplies so that we can treat them through the night.  We need $4000.00 to stock this new expansion. 

**

Granmoun/Homeless Program:

  • There are many elders who have become orphans – their children have all died out from under them. They sleep on porches or in the street. We’ve seen them abused, beaten, and I’ve treated elderly ladies who’ve been raped. They have no place they can sleep safely. One man had kerosene thrown on him because he was sleeping on the porch of a house and they didn’t want him there. They are dying without any dignity. During the rainy season they are wet & cold.
  • We would like to build a home that can house 30 men & 30 women. It would be great if we were able to feed them but the most important thing is to provide them a safe place to sleep.  They can check-in each night and check-out in the morning so there aren’t monthly costs associated.

One home has been completed. We need $20,000 to complete the second home as a structure. We need $13,000 to outfit the 2nd homes with plumbing, electricity, windows, etc.

**

 Church Needs:

  • We came up short on finishing the outside of the church. We weren’t able to plaster the sides.
  • A lot of our sound/speakers need to be upgraded/fixed. It’s very hard to do any sort of conference or big event because the speakers go in and out all the time.
  • We would like to screen the church….the mosquitos are SO bad inside the church. We can’t really bug-bomb it or control it. We’d love to add side fans onto the walls as well….as away of also keeping the mosquitos from being to bad.
  • We would REALLY like to tile the floor. We have nice instruments and the floor is rough/dusty. No matter how much you sweep – there’s always more dust to be found with the rough floor. This would allow us to keep everything clean.  Also as a church who lived in a tent for many years I think there is a want to show God continues to provide and none of the curses worked.  ***This particular need has a lot to do with the struggles we faced because of the curses that came against us – the voodoo services that burned down our military tent time and time again. It’s probably a little prideful on our part.. but in a culture where the building matters… we’ve faced a ton of battles trying to get this church completed.

**Plastering sides of church: 2200.00  **Tiling the Church: 7500.00  **Instrument/Speaker Repairs: $2500.00   **Screening the church: 1200.00 – This need has just been met! PRAISE THE LORD!

**

Orphanage Needs:

  • We have broken toilets and showers that need to be fixed. Those two buildings need a lot of work! When you have 35 kids…it requires constant care.
  • The government requires there to be an “office” for the kids in our orphanage. We need to build a small structure where we keep all their records & can officially receive social services when they visit each time.
  • Our wooden fence blew down with the storms. We would like to get a chain link fence to officially mark off the orphanage that way we can help them with boundaries.
  • When flooding happens everything pools right in front of the orphanage porch. We need to build a small canal//lay pipes// to redirect that water around the orphanage.
  • Sponsor one of our children at $30/month.

We aren’t quite sure what the budget is, as they are new to our list.  If you are interested in helping, you can put “Mole Orphan Construction” on the memo – and we will meet with our construction foreman to get started.  

 

FEEL LED TO HELP AND NEED MORE INFORMATION?

If you would like to collect supplies for our yearly shipment or need more information about these projects:  PLEASE SEND US AN EMAIL… jody@nwhcm.org

Or

If you feel led to donate towards these projects or our benevolent ministry in general – which meets the needs of the community –  the information is below! 

We are better together and every donation matters no matter how small! 

CHECKS CAN BE MADE TO:
NWHCM
7301 N Georgetown Rd
Suite 190
Indianapolis, IN 46268
Please mark: Mole Ministry & the project you’d like to donate towards

OR – ONLINE WITH CREDIT CARD – CLICK HERE
You can write in the notes section:  MOLE MINISTRY & the project you’d like to help with! 

 

 

Posted in Mission Stories

January Family Update!

I’m currently writing you from our St. Louis du Nord Campus. On Friday we will greet our first surgery team of the year! We are SO excited and thankful for this medical team. Many Haitians have been waiting over a year for these life-changing surgeries.

We will be here for a week and then we’re heading to the states. Malaya has several doctor appointments scheduled as they continue to investigate the marks that are on her arms, legs, and back.

January 2020 has been full of many ups & downs….

So here’s a look at some of our past posts from this month.

 

Post 1 – The President’s wife actually came and dropped of Christmas gifts for our orphanage! They spent 5 days here in the Mole – across the street. We became great friends with their security guards. The town was completely calm during their stay. In fact, the President actually rode his bike downtown around the town square! 

**

Post 2 – When we get to the States I plan to upload more pictures and videos from this incredible New Year’s Celebration. It could not have gone better and the talent was insane!

**

Post 3 – My best friend died on January 1st 2019.  Reliving & processing those days was SO difficult.

**

Post 4 – Our Children’s Church Party was a blast.  I’ll load more pics next  week.

**

Post 5 – My best friend died on January 1st 2019.  Reliving & processing those days was SO difficult.

**

Post 6 – IT IS A MIRACLE!!! GOD JUST MOVED MOUNT EVEREST!!!

 

Posted in Mission Stories

Our Generation Christmas Party…

On December 20th we celebrated Christmas with our favorite dance group – Our Generation!

The girls have been in the states for the past 6 months and have really been looking forward to this time of fellowship together. Just like we do for our staff, we had each of the dancers draw names earlier in December.  They had to perform 2 acts of kindness without getting caught.

On Friday evening – we enjoyed a great meal together! We then divided everyone into two teams and played 10 Minute-It-To-Win-It Games! Everyone received gifts for playing!

We also revealed our Secret Santa Partner! Listening to how sneaky they were – and what things they did for their person – is always a highlight for everyone!

We finished the night with a Santa Hat Walk! Whatever number you stood on – there was a corresponding prize box!

Take a look at some of our pictures from our Fabulous Evening Together!

Posted in Mission Stories

Christmas Eve Granmoun Feeding…

One of our favorite things to do is feed the elderly folks from our community a hot meal! They are always SO thankful and sweet! Every year we pass out 200 cards inviting them to join us on Christmas Eve. We always share the Good News with them and pray over them.

We have posted several other Christmas Posts on our ministry blog: molehaiti.org 

Here are some pictures from our annual feeding.  

Posted in Mission Stories

Christmas Bingo Fun…

Malaya and I spent all morning setting up for our annual Christmas Bingo Game!

Our core staff invited 5 friends/family to join us today at 4pm. We had over 156 people in our cafeteria. We played 5 rounds of Bingo and had over 20 winners each round. Everyone who won received a cash prize AND they got to pick a present from our tables!

We also made sure that every single person left with something! A MERRY time was had by all!

We would like to extend a special thank you to Sue Lukomski. The majority of our tables were filled with goodies because of all of her efforts!

Here’s some pictures of our incredible night together!

 

Posted in Mission Stories

We Are Home!

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. Now that I’m back home in Haiti – I plan to write more frequently.

I started summarizing the past few months and then decided it would be easier to just cut and paste my Facebook posts.

So below are some of the posts I’ve made since I blogged in October. It’s been a VERY bumpy ride…but I’m thankful to be home. 

Thanks for your patience, prayers, encouragement, love, and support!

****

Our “Joy Story” Children’s Church Kick-Off has begun!!

*******

I am happy to report that we made it home safely! THANK YOU for all of your prayers!

I’m also SO excited to share that we have electricity! We don’t know how long it will last… but we’ve had power every day since we arrived. Pierre said that the town has been WAITING for us to put up all the lights & start our Christmas Festivities. It’s the signal that it’s okay to celebrate even when times are tough. So we’ve been working nonstop since we arrived.

Tonight is our Children’s Church Kick-off. We will be showing A Toy Story to introduce our “theme”… which is – A Joy Story! Jose, the kids, and I will be dressing up as the characters tonight!

We have Staff, Dance, Youth, & Children’s parties to plan…. Christmas Bingo, 10 Nights of Christmas Movies, Food Give-aways, Animal Give-aways, & many other activities that will be starting this week.

We will also have a New Year’s Eve dance competition. We’ve already got 22 teams signed up! There’s 185 people coming from the Port-de-Paix area to participate! With all the drama in Haiti – I assumed the turnout would be really low… but instead everyone is just super excited to do something fun!

**

I also wanted to THANK everyone for all of the thoughtful birthday messages!

Yesterday was a very difficult day… honestly I’ve found it difficult to breathe ever since we arrived home.

We decorated our tree last night and took our annual family photo. We normally mail out our Christmas Cards before Thanksgiving but we obviously got a late start this year. We’ve been doing cards since 2002. Lori has always helped us come up with the theme & written the poem. It just doesn’t “feel right” celebrating my 40th birthday without talking to her… without her picking out the clothes for the kids…. without her telling me what to write.

As we were decorating our home, I created a little square in her honor. The stocking was hers when we were children. Whenever I told her I loved her – she’d say “ Love You More”. I bought that sign for her funeral. The Mickey Mouse was a present she got for her last birthday. Her ashes are in the black bottle that Mickey is holding. Each piece in the little square has a special meaning to me.

Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to move forward … and as we begin to dive into all our upcoming ministries.

*******

That awkward moment…

1- When your basement floods the day you are packing 16 suitcases and two of them are soaking wet… AND you have to do laundry again… AND you have to throw away boxes of food you spent hours shopping for.

2-When it’s 2:30am and you load up your van to head to the airport BUT it won’t start because the battery is dead.

3-When you are the first people in line at the ticket counter (an hour before it even opens) and yet the last people who are finally checked in because the lady is Ridiculously slow.

4-When half the kids make it through the TSA line and the other half are stuck waiting for boarding passes… AND every single carryon gets flagged… AND 4 of us get patted down… AND Asher asks if they will pat him down too because it’s “not fair” that the other two boys were.

5- When TSA can’t help the others stuck behind us because we’ve sucked up all their manpower and counter space with all the extra security checks.

6- When you were the first people at the airport and YET you have to run to the gate where they are holding the flight for you… AND everyone already hates you from back at TSA!

7- When it’s not even 5:30am and you’ve already had the most mentally exhausting day!

#neveradullmoment

Ready or not – Haiti Here We Come!!

** COMMENTS I MADE LATER: 

Jody Owen Castillo Ugh…our connecting flight leaves at 10:30 and we are not landing until 10:15am now. They close the gate 10 minutes before departure. Looks like today is just not our day and we will have to overnight 😢
 **
Jody Owen Castillo That MIRACLE MOMENT WHERE THE AGENT HAS A CAR WAITING TO TAKE US TO THE GATE AND THEY HELD THE FLIGHT FOR US!!! 😅 tears of joy!!!

Malaya and I both were crying as we got off the plane…knowing what a pain it would be to recheck bags and go through all the security checks again tomorrow….and they had a sign waiting for us! Totally redeemed this day! Our bags won’t make it but at least we don’t have to touch them again until Haiti! PRAISE THE LORD!!

**
Jody Owen Castillo God works in mysterious ways. They held the plane for us and we couldn’t have been in that airport for more than 10 minutes.

YET EVERY SINGLE BAG MADE IT!?! How?? I have no clue.

My crew looked like such a hot mess that as we went through customs they just waived us on through without opening a single bag!

This has to be the weirdest trip we’ve ever taken….so many twists and turns.

*******

Special thanks to the Hope College Dancers! The kids LOVED their box of goodies and were so surprised that you thought of them!

You all are SO incredibly thoughtful! The picture collage is awesome too!

Can’t wait for you all to come back! We love you all!

*******

Today we are taking Rosie to see an orthopedic doctor to discuss the possibility of their practice doing her scoliosis surgery next year pro-bono. Her curve is growing 5% each year.

We appreciate your prayers for this appointment as we fight for her quality of life.

**COMMENTS I MADE LATER

Jody Owen Castillo Thanks everyone for your prayers! The doctor said she definitively needs surgery.

The surgeon and nursing staff are willing to donate their time and waive their fees!

Now we have to go before the hospital board and see if they are willing to waive their fees. It’s a 200k surgery. It’s a lot to ask of a hospital!

We should know something in a week or so! Please pray as so many doors have already been closed to us.

*******

Tonight I did something that I NEVER thought I would do….

A week before Lori died, she asked me to play worship music one night in the hospital. Though she was too weak to even feed herself, I watched her raise her arms in praise as the song – It Is Well – played on my speaker.

After digging through countless journals/notebooks – I managed to find those words in her handwriting.

This evening I had them tattooed on my foot… in her writing, using her ashes. Now she’ll always be apart of me.

At the end I added “With Me” in Creole. Though I can’t wrap my mind around this year… I have FINALLY accepted that which I cannot change/understand.

Thanks Caroline for an UNFORGETTABLE evening!

It Is Well…. with me.

*******

Last night we had the privilege of having dinner with Joe (Diane’s husband). The fellowship and reminiscing about Diane was just what my heart needed.

This morning we are seeing the endocrinologist in Cincinnati to find out more about Malaya’s health issues. Driving the road I’ve driven a hundred times…. but knowing my sister won’t be waiting for us at the appointment… passing by all the places we ate at, places we met to switch out kids…. it’s WAY more difficult than I thought.

My sister told Malaya that if something happened – she’s counting on her to decorate her house for Christmas… just like we did last year. She of course said – “You’ll be here so we can do it together again”.

Alas… tomorrow will be another difficult day as we carry out her Christmas wishes. It’s also DJ’s first birthday without his mom. So MANY firsts.

**COMMENTS I MADE LATER

Jody Owen Castillo Thanks everyone for your prayers.

Update on Malaya: The endocrinologists were baffled at Malaya’s symptoms. They called in the head of the department and she said her labs aren’t consistent with a specific diagnosis.

Her hormone & cortisol levels are very high which is concerning. BUT to be consistent with Cushing’s disease – there’s other labs that should inadvertently be lower in order for that diagnosis to line-up.

The head Endocrinologist said in her 15+ years of working – she’s never seen such “impressive” purple/red lines that go up and down her legs, arms, and now her back. She’s the worst case she’s ever seen of that. Of course Malaya is devastated that her skin looks so bad. 😞

We are swabbing her mouth every night at midnight re-testing hormone levels and those labs will be turned in tomorrow. IF the cortisol levels are still high – then they believe there’s a brain lesion that the first MRI didn’t catch. They will want to do a more detailed MRI. They said it could be a tiny tumor and she’d have to have surgery to remove it.

IF her cortisol levels come back normal – then they are truly at a loss and we’ll be starting back at the drawing board – having to run a ton of other tests to figure out what’s going on and she’ll have to see other specialists as well. #neveradullmoment

**

Jody Owen Castillo Yesterday was a very bittersweet day. We were able to celebrate DJ’s birthday and carry-out my sister’s Christmas wishes. I had practically lived with her this past year and being in the home without her makes every part of my body ache.

My sister collected Manager Scenes. So Malaya very carefully unwrapped and set-up each one.

Lori had several trees. One of her favorites was her Disney Tree. That tree has been around since I was a little kid. I lived with my sister my freshman year of college and I remember decorating it with her back in 1997. She loved to collect ornaments along the way…and hanging them on the tree brought back so many memories.

We invited Lori’s grandkids over to help us decorate. I feel like it’s my honor & duty to include those precious girls as much as I can. She loved them as though they were her own little girls.

*******

The Castillo Clan will be at the Convention Center today! Stop by and see us….maybe take a kid home with you! 😂

We also have a special 40th Anniversary Dinner tonight. Message me if you would like to attend. We still have open spots! It’s free! @nwhcm #icom #haiti

*****

I’m not looking to cause a debate or anything…

BUT – in full sincerity – there’s something I’ve really been struggling with this year. I don’t like that I struggle with it…but it’s my reality in face of losing my best friend, my sister, my youth pastor, my best friend’s mom, & Malonea -all within 1 year.

So here’s my thought-provoking dilemma:

Does God heal the sick (on earth) based off our prayers?

Part 1 of my Dilemma:
Lori died of an infection….not the cancer. Some may say she wouldn’t have had the infection had she not had the cancer but the immunotherapy was shrinking the cancer.

Part of me wonders: What more could I have done to prevent the infection? If only I had…… (made everyone wear masks 24-7, watched her drains closer so she didn’t keep pulling them out, fought harder for her last two treatments of immunotherapy that she missed, done more, etc) maybe Lori would still be here.

When I have shared those guilty thoughts with others – I was asked the question… Do I believe in the sovereignty of God? Did I believe that I could change God’s will for her life? After all, He knows the numbers of our days just as He knows the number of hairs on our heads.

Okay… I really absorbed that and tried to process those feelings… because I do believe God is all-knowing and I do believe God is a good God.

SO if that’s true…then here comes Part 2 of my dilemma:

Part 2 of my Dilemma:
So – if we really believe that God’s will – will be done – regardless of why His will was what it was – – why would my prayers for complete healing here on earth matter?

Lori may save more people in her death than in her living. I’m not debating whether God will work all things out for the good of others. I’m not debating that it was His will for her to go now.

BUT – He already knew how long she and Diane were going to live. He knew the number of their days. I believe He even cried with us.

**

On the one hand – I could think I didn’t pray enough. And someone would say – God is sovereign. Don’t beat yourself up. Everything is in God’s hands. When it’s our time – it’s our time.

But if I shouldn’t feel guilty that I didn’t pray all day and all night long – then did any of my prayers throughout the past year (specifically for healing on earth) even matter at all?

Am I praying for healing in hopes that I get closer to God? In that case the prayers are really for me.

Or am I praying for healing because I really believe I can change God’s mind? Wouldn’t He already know that He’s gonna change His mind regardless – if He knows our forecast for the future?

Does that make sense at all?

I’ve been searching deep within the Word. I’ve read more books than I can count in the past few months trying to find some sort of peace over this.

I have no problem asking God to give me strength. I have no problem asking for God to protect others. But several people have asked me to pray for healing (on earth) for their loved one…and I’m so confused about whether I believe it even matters.

I’m truly looking for your honest and sincere feedback.

Perhaps it’s a question that just can’t be answered until I see the face of Jesus. I accept the not knowing. But I went to nursing school and not Bible College… I haven’t quite mastered my understanding of the Bible.

When someone asks me to pray for them – I take it very seriously. I won’t say yes if I don’t mean it. I learned that from the Haitians. They won’t offer to pray if they don’t believe in it. I’m just not sure what I believe now….

 

Posted in Mission Stories

Prayer Requests for Rosie & Malaya…

Friday afternoon, Malaya’s primary doctor and dermatologist worked together and came up with a “likely” diagnosis for all of her weird health issues.

So, Saturday we began our long series of tests to see if she has Cushing’s Syndrome.

They took 9 tubes of blood on Saturday. Later this week, she’ll have an MRI to see if she’s got a pituitary tumor in the back part of her brain. Then they’ll do a CT scan of her chest/abdomen. They will also admit her in the hospital for 24-hours so they can draw blood levels throughout the day/night.

Last week, we found out that Rosie’s scoliosis is continuing to grow roughly 5% a year and it will be debilitating for her as she gets older. Her curve is already over 50%. There’s concern that as the curve continues to grow – it could put pressure on her lungs.  She will NEED corrective surgery.

Because we can’t get insurance on her and she’s not a US citizen – it’s been EXTREMELY difficult finding a surgeon willing to operate. We have reached out to Shriners and MANY other medical facilities/programs without any luck.

I’m not gonna lie… I’m feeling very frustrated/overwhelmed/confused that we have to even think about these things with all that we’ve already been through this year.

We appreciate your prayers for peace, strength, patience, wisdom, and answers as we trudge through these rough waters.

 

Posted in Personal Stories

Finding Our Way…

I know MANY of you have so kindly been inquiring: 

How are you REALLY doing?

How are your kids coping? Is there anything I can do for them?

How can I help/pray for you during this difficult time?

 

My Reality… Raw & Real 

IN THE FURNACE:

I flew out of Haiti in May and my family soon joined me a week later. The few months we had left with Lori are forever embedded in my mind. Both the beautiful & hilarious moments… as well as those filled with sorrow. 

After her passing – there were days where I cried for hours – like 6-8 hours straight. (I still do  – just not every day). Once I start crying – I just can’t stop it. I sink into this deep place that no one can pull me out of. My mom, dad, Jose, & Malaya would spend hours with me trying desperately to calm me… but I was trapped in my sorrow.

There were days where the panic attacks felt like heart attacks.  I thought I was losing my mind. There were days where the darkness was so heavy – I was terrified I’d never see the light.

My sister died on a Saturday and on Monday we received a call that they were going to cremate her. I never put much thought into the process of cremation. My best friend Diane was also cremated in January.  I never thought about it then. But once someone said it outloud – my nightmares became vivid beasts that could NOT be caged.

EVERY night for over 2 months I had the exact same dream…. I can vividly see my sister’s body lying inside an old brick furnace. (I studied WW2 and have actually visited the concentration camps in Poland. I was explained the process in great detail as I visited the crematories. They used to shave the heads of the Jews so they would melt quicker.)

Somehow I merged that experience with my sister. In my dreams I saw her body melting. I could smell the burning flesh – something I’ve smelled in Haiti before. I could hear the crackling sounds of the fire. I could actually feel the warmth of the fire. I kicked off my blankets as I felt the heat from the dream.

The dream always ends with me waking up gasping for air. At first I only dreamed this about my sister…but a month ago I also started picturing Diane. Even typing it out right now brings flaming tears down my cheeks.

Thinking about going to bed at night brought on debilitating anxiety every afternoon…. because I knew what the night would hold. I became dangerously sleep-deprived. I was too afraid to sleep. I was too exhausted to drive. I was too anxious to leave the house. My mind was too foggy to work. I was too overwhelmed to be the mother & wife I needed to be. I was lonely – isolated – dead inside. 

I wished it would have been me. I said it a lot as I weeped. I firmly believe that my sister had more ministry left in her to do. I KNOW she could reach more people with more enthusiasm than I ever could. Why her?

I NEEDED to touch her face and put her moisturizer on. I NEEDED to brush her hair and put her favorite lipgloss on. I did it twice a day for months. I felt out of routine. I had basically moved in with my sister this past year.

So – she died and then I’m just suppose to pack my stuff up and go home? It’s just done? I’m no longer tracking her food intake, giving her IV’s, driving her around, tracking her prescriptions, laughing with her, loving on her, being loved by her? I’m just suppose to put my clothes in a suitcase and walk away? Just like that?

My world changed drastically after her diagnosis and now it was changing drastically again. My mind couldn’t understand the finality of it all.

JOURNEY TO HEALING:

As I began daily counseling, we looked back at the past 5 years. There has been so much drama over the past 5 years – that I was never able to grieve/process each major event. We lived from one crisis to the next.

Our family motto is #NeverADullMoment. We live it out daily….from little things to big things. Here are just a few of the “events” I listed on my past 5-year timeline.

This Past Year Alone
Lori died
Ruth died (Malaya’s best friend – my best friend’s mom)
Youth minister committed suicide
Diane died (my best friend)
Malonea died (my special needs 9+ year employee we took care of)
Lori was diagnosed with cancer

Past Few Years
Several of MY kids experienced trauma and had to have therapy
Diane diagnosed with cancer
Hurricane & Season of flooding nearly destroyed our Haitian town
Our boat delivering $45,000+ worth of supplies sank during a different hurricane
6 miscarriages in 2 years
Nora died (my husband’s sister – exactly the same age as Lori was)
Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.
Community Sex trafficking/abuse was exposed in major ways
I underwent half a dozen surgeries
Not to mention the day to day struggles, staff changes, dealing with voodoo/darkness, etc.

Turns out….I’m a hot mess!! LOL!  

I was diagnosed with PTSD. I tease how everyone proudly lists their credentials after after their name – like MD, RN, BSN, PHD, CPA, etc.  It’s a running joke with my friends that I sign my emails – 

In Kingdom Service,
Jody Castillo BSN, RN, PTSD

**

Through the daily counseling, EMDR, and the unrelenting  prayers of close friends & family – I’m finding my way out. If I told you all the ways God is moving right now – this blog might never end. But I’m learning & believing that even though the furnace is hot – God is standing with me.

My therapist invited me to attend the American Association of Christian Counselors Conference. I wasn’t sure my anxiety would allow me to be fully present. Jose & Gabe came with us for support. I can tell you it’s already been a life changing week and I finally feel alive. 

Just one example – One evening during worship – I had an awakening. I don’t even know the name of the song that they played. I hadn’t heard it before. But it talked about us bowing down WITH the angels in reverence to God.

Now I’ve had all kinds of people talk to me about Heaven. But my mind could never leave the furnace.

But in a God-ordained moment while this beautiful song was playing and 7000 counselors were lifting up their voices to Jesus…  Gabriel leaned over and asked me, “Do you think Auntie Lolo is bowing down before God right now with the angels?”

WOW! I can’t even begin to describe how his innocent question – his tender heart – and his tear-filled eyes penetrated that darkness in the depths of my soul.

That night  – for the FIRST time ever – there wasn’t a furnace consuming me. Instead…. Lori, Diane, & Malonea were like little girls skipping down the streets of gold…. heading to the Golden Corral! (LOL!) 

HOW ARE YOUR CHILDREN DOING?

Each of my kids are finding their footing and healing in their own way. Watching their momma fall apart hasn’t been easy on them. They needed me & I was a mess. I’m thankful for our therapist and the way she continues to embrace us… making herself available 24/7. 

We started homeschool in September. It’s actually been a great experience as it’s reconnecting us and providing some normalcy.

My sister’s favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. My mom has requested that all kids/grandkids come together that week. This means my entire family will be in the states for a total of 6 months. This is the longest we’ve been out since I was pregnant with Asher/Levi.

We are desperate to be home. We yearn to be with the rest of our family – Fabi, Gigi, & Izzy! We miss our friends – our staff – all of our campus kids – our community – dance classes – children’s church – clinic – play therapy – soccer – joking with everyone on campus – – sleeping in our own beds – and “some” of us even miss our dogs!

My kids feel lonely and bored! They want to go home. If you would like to send them a card or a small gift of encouragement (just to let them know you’re thinking of them) we would appreciate that. You could write them all together – or send it separately. Malaya, Mikela, Rosie, Asher, Levi, & Gabe are the 6 kids we have with us.

Mailing address:
Castillo
PO BOX 516
Versailles, KY 40383

Over the past year my journey has been 5 weeks in the states, 3 weeks in Haiti, another 5 weeks in the states, etc. It was a constant back and forth.   

Jose & I have been separated most of the year. Even when the family flew out in May – my sister was too weak to be with all of my children at one time. So Jose and I typically met up once a week – switching out kids. 

I am so thankful for Tom & Sharon Snivley – who took all our kids & Momma Gigi for 10 days so that Jose & I could reconnect.

I am thankful for Brian & Leila Austin – who took in our clan for an extended weekend. Their friends and family loved & cared for ALL of us as we were….broken & in need of love.

I am thankful for all those who’ve reached out – texted – emailed – messaged – and stretched their hands through the screen embracing us as though they were sitting right beside us.

**

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

Most importantly we are desperate for prayers! Please pray for the light to shine where darkness tries to reign. Pray for continued healing and growth. Pray for our hearts as we miss home. Pray that I can keep my anxiety at bay. Pray that we may know that we know –  that Christ is alive and well – that He will not leave or forsake us – and that we will feel HIS peace & presence daily. 

This year our family will be out for 6 months… which is 4 months longer than a typical year.  This past year has been full of many unplanned trips & extended times out. As a family of 9  – you can imagine how expensive it is to travel, feed, & care for everyone.

I REALLY struggle to share this need with you. We received a comment many years ago that we were using our sorrow as a fundraising mechanism. We were trying to do a big feeding in someone’s honor. It stung the depths of our soul in a way we’ve never experienced. We immediately took down the post. We still did the feeding on our own because we knew in our hearts that our efforts would truly honor this person’s memory.

My parents reminded me that allowing that comment to keep us from sharing the need is really a form of pride and that it’s time to finally lay that at HIS feet. 

If you feel led to help us during this time out here’s how you can:

Online Donation Please click here

Checks:

NWHCM
7301 N Georgetown Rd
Suite 190
Indianapolis, IN 46268
Memo: Castillo

Posted in Personal Stories

Post Funeral Family Update…

Here are a few updates from Facebook….

FROM AUGUST 29TH

I know I haven’t posted in awhile….or returned most emails, messages, or texts.

I am TRULY thankful for the love, support, food, cards, and kindness you’ve extended to our family.

I feel compelled to share this little story/insight with you….

For those of you who knew Lori – you know she was never without her phone. It was attached to her hand. Every call & text seemed ever so urgent even if it’s was midnight. Even if it was in the middle of dinner. Even if it was during scheduled family fun.

She promptly responded to everyone – always making herself available. So many people have introduced themselves to me as “Lori’s best friend”. And it makes me smile because I know WHY they feel that way….it’s because she treated each person as though they were the most important person in the room.

Let’s be honest… Lori sacrificed and did for others what they would NEVER do for her…but she did it because God was good and she wanted to represent Him in all ways.

Scott and I tried really hard to help her set boundaries. The problem was – it’s embedded deep within us. It’s how we were raised growing up in the ministry….to try and be all things to all people. There’s no such thing as a 9-5 job when you are in the ministry.

Around May I was SHOCKED as I noticed Lori began to put her phone down. She stopped responding to every message she received. In fact, she started handing her phone over to me. For awhile she wanted to know about every single text, email, message, etc…. and let me tell you that was a full time job just managing her phone.

Then when June came….she no longer asked about who was writing her or what was needed. Mainly because her mind had started to grow fuzzy. But I still read through the texts & messages that were full of love, prayers, and encouragement.

What I watched, was that something that meant everything to her – no longer matter – – because she knew something we didn’t know.

Though we tried to stay so positive – I think she knew she was dying. I had more serious & real conversations with my sister this past year than I had my whole life.

I left Haiti in July 2018 after her initial diagnosis and spent most of this past year right by her side as her sister/fighter/nurse.

There were times where my flight landed at 3am….and when I pulled into her drive – she was up waiting for me. She was waiting for me to talk through her latest drama and what I thought.

She told me I was her security blanket….if I was here then it meant that I would fight for everything on her behalf….so she could let go….because I had her.

She had limited time left and I watched priorities shape differently than before.

What I realized was – so much of my time too has been spent the same way. If I don’t respond within 24 hours – then people think I must be sick…because I prided myself on an empty email box every night. It didn’t matter if it was vacation or midnight. I booked tickets for a team the day of my twins c-section! Seriously!

I too responded right away as though everyone was the most important person in the room. But it comes at a price. Being fully available often means being rarely present.

None of us know how much time we have left…and I have learned SO much as I cared for my sister.

But the one thing that continues to stand out to me is that when it came to “what mattered” – it was those who were physically present in her life. Not social media/emails….not work. i don’t say that to shame any of us…. but that we should live with boundaries and enjoy the company of those present in our daily lives.

The past few weeks I’ve tried to step away from an online presence…but in doing so I know I have worried many. Sorry about that.

I’m still trying to find my way in this world and through this never-ending heartache.

I can however – transparently say – the struggle is real… the panic attacks are paralyzing… the counseling is helpful…. but I continue to remain broken in every way.

 

**

FROM SEPTEMBER 3RD

While we are in daily counseling, the therapist suggested we start school now… as a way of gaining back some normalcy for our family. We usually do school in Haiti but we started back yesterday. (In the states).

Today I was researching something for our history class and this quote popped up.

I was caught off guard and overcome by emotions.

You see several times a week… every time Lori went to the hospital…. whether it was for labs, ct scans/tests, surgeries, checkups, ER visits, IV’s, blood transfusions, etc…. I saw this quote on a bulletin board in the elevator.

I had memorized it from those COUNTLESS elevator rides.

While it brought me to tears today… it also made me smile… because Lori and I talked in the elevator about how much better this world would be if we would ALL aspire to live this way.

And the thing is…. she really did live this out daily….I just don’t think she ever realized how influential and generous she truly was.

Posted in Personal Stories

Lori’s Celebration of Life Festival…

Lori’s Celebration Of Life Festival

Location: Woodland Lakes Christian Camp
3054 Lindale Mt. Holly Road Amelia, OH 45102

Date: Saturday, July 27th

Time: 5pm

Lori left very specific instructions about how she wanted to celebrate her journey into Heaven. She wanted to teach the children one last lesson – that Heaven is real and it’s a time of celebration.

There will be a short service filled with our favorite memories of Lori. Then it’s time for the party! There will be moon bounces, blow-up slides, snow cones, popcorn, cotton candy, & her favorite fair food.

This celebration is geared toward the children…she wants them to come. This will not be a time of sadness but rather a party in her honor. Heaven is celebrating and she wants us to join in that celebration.

Lori requested that you come as you are… dress casual and plan for an unforgettable evening.

**