Ups and downs are simply apart of life. In one way or another we all face problems and trials that bring us to our knees. We face things that threaten our “Hope”.
After living in Haiti for a few years – my dad made me responsible for all of the staff on the St. Louis campus! With over 150 staff members – that was quite the task! We had daily devotionals each morning and every day employees were allowed to stop by my office with their problems and needs.
There were days that I was totally overwhelmed by their needs. I just didn’t have the resources. Time and time again I heard – “After God there’s only you”. After they asked their father in Heaven – their “Hope” was in me. I was the only other person who could help them. There were days where I felt defeated. If one more person came through that door to tell me how much they were hurting – I was going to quit! Too much for one person to bear.
Last week we learned that two of our largest supporters no longer had the means to help. I thought the 2011 roller-coaster of personal support was finished! With a $900/month loss – I found myself in tears as my family of 9 heads to the states for the Holidays – and we’re broke. Seriously Lord? Of all the times to fall short – my plate doesn’t have room for this new burden!
Ever feel that way? Like you just can’t handle ONE MORE THING?
My God says He won’t give me more than I can handle. Sometimes it feels like I’m walking that fine-line but I love the way God sends me His angels to remind me – He’s still here! He’s got this!
Back in St. Louis:
God would send me Janet. A janitor for the medical department – she simply would walk in my office and ask if she could pray with me. She never asked me for anything. Many times she would get on her knees and put her hands on mine and pray over me.
On another day Momma Gigi would walk in. She would tell me that God placed me on her heart at 4am and she spent the last several hours just praying for wisdom for me. How did she know?
Later a nurse would seek me out. She had brought me mangos. She said she had extra and God told her to bring them to me.
Two ladies from the baby orphanage showed up in my office with a small basin of water. They asked to wash my feet. That I serve so many and God sent them to me. How humbling…….
I’ll never forget one December- the women from the Miriam Center all came into my office. I thought they were coming to complain or quit! They handed me a gift that they all had chipped in for. It was a glass punch bowl with 8 small glass cups! My eyes filled with tears – the sacrifice they made just to give to me.
Sometimes the burdens we carry for our families, our friends, and ourselves are just too much. Ever think about the weight of those burdens? Doesn’t your back hurt? Do you have someone “after God” that you’re counting on to pull you through this? Are you putting your “Hope” in their basket?
God showed me time and time again that I was placed here to serve His purpose. He has a great task for me. He needs me to listen and He needs me to teach the Haitians that there should never be “after God”. But there is “ONLY GOD”.
I emailed my family last week to let them know about our loss of monthly support. I told them, “I just lost my biggest supporter”. Janeil quickly emailed me back – “God is your largest supporter! He has plans for you! Plans to give you a Hope and a future”.
I tell the Haitians all the time – we don’t need to put our trust in anyone else but Him. They don’t need to place their HOPE in someone or something “after God”. Here’s the thing – Neither do I. He has plans for me to run full force without any weights slowing me down!
As we head to the states today – my backpack is full of diapers, snacks, wipes, babies’ change of clothes, and passports! I REFUSE to carry unnecessary burdens in it too!
So today – I am thankful my HOPE is in the ONLY GOD!
I am thankful that He bears my burdens & is an Ever-Present Force through every trial I face!
Categories: Personal Stories