Today she should have received the next round of immunotherapy. However, she has become unresponsive yet again.

Her labs have never looked better; they truly believe the immuno is working. All is well except for one lab….her white blood cells. Her infection is back and they are afraid she’s going septic again….she will not survive if that’s the case.

We are surrounding her, loving her, singing to her, reading scripture over her, and praying that Lori will come back to us as she has time and time again.

We have given her permission to leave us and accepted that fate if it’s His Will. But every time we let go….she comes back.

It’s such an emotional rollercoaster….we have wept till there were no more tears and rejoiced with all that’s in us when she opens her eyes and looks at us.

So if it’s His will for her to live….please pray that she will not suffer and that this is not septic shock.

And if it’s His will for her to enter into His Kingdom… the prayer is the same – that she will not suffer anymore.

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COMMENT I MADE ON POST

Update:

Unfortunately, she is not coming back to us this time. Her organs are shutting down.

Thank you for your prayers. Our family is coming together during this difficult time and it’s absolutely the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do.

I don’t know how to do this…. I don’t know how to breathe in this world without her in it. My dad can barely stand as he grieves and I’m really concerned about his health.

Please pray for her comfort and pain as she transitions out of our hands and into His.

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ANOTHER COMMENT I MADE ON POST

I appreciate the prayers and messages so much. Mom and I have been reading over them as we wait. Last night we were told it would be just a few hours….then we were told it would definitely be this morning. Still we wait.

Her birthday balloons are still floating with helium. How can we celebrate life and death so closely together?

Though she’s unable to talk or move – she looks me in the eyes when I rub her face. Tears stream down her cheeks. She’s still here though so much of her is gone.

She hears us though she can’t really respond verbally she squeezes a hand or raises an eyebrow. Mainly she moans in pain.

We cannot understand how she’s still holding on… what is she waiting for.

Her lungs are slowly filling with fluid and hearing her gasp through crackled breaths is like nails on a chalkboard.

I have had so many people message me asking how I am “really” doing….. I wish I had some sort of “Godly” response of how He’s given me strength and peace.

But in full transparency I’m confused and I’m angry. I believed the miracle and if it wasn’t in His will then why let her come back from the dead time and time again? I just don’t understand.

She’s still in pain despite our best efforts and she just deserves more than that. She’s a good and faithful servant whose suffering seems so unfair.

Please pray for God to show mercy on my sister.