I’ve gotten a lot of emails requesting I come up with another top 10 list. As everyday life unfolds – I began to start a few Top 10 Lists and have just been waiting for things to happen so I can write them down. Today – I finally got my 10th item and am able to post 🙂
One of my favorite movies is Forrest Gump. From time to time I quote a few things from it but my favorite quote is STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES. Now I have to admit that a lot of these came from a little place in Ohio. Let’s just say a little town where 100% of the population is white and 50% live in trailers and 70% don’t have more than 4 teeth! (Or at least all the ones that seem to want to talk to me!)
I simply stand amazed – sometimes shocked even – of the things that people say………..you’ll see what I mean!
TOP 10 REASONS I BELIEVE STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES!!!
10) An email is sent – “I need help – I can’t get my email to work”. (Hmm…. you can’t get your email to work and you let it be known by email………hmm.)
9)We’re standing in front of a group of people who ask us about Haiti. I explain to them that we are missionaries there. One of the guys tells me he knows all about Haiti and proceeds to give facts that aren’t really true. His arrogance is rather annoying as he starts to dominate the conversation and say that we need to help people here and not in other countries. I ask him if he’s actually ever been there before. He says…………………”I took the bus once THROUGH there while traveling in Mexico. I really didn’t think the conditions were all that bad”. (Hmm…..okay -someone get me a map!)
8)Malaya is upset because we don’t have any hand sanitizer and I swear she’s OCD and has to wash her hands 10 times a day. We’re at the Kentucky State Fair and standing in line and she says, “Momma – i have to wash my hands before I eat”. I tell her she’ll be okay and the lady behind me chimes in……………..Yeah I never wash my hands before I eat. (hmm….okay that’s gross!)
7) Mikela, Rosie, and Malaya are all dressed the same. Malaya is very white and the other two are very black! We are walking around at the Ohio State Fair and someone stops and stares. Then they ask…………….are they triplets? (Yes – Identical and I had them by c-section!)
6)A lady stops us and asks if we adopted those children and where they’re from. We begin to explain their stories. They conclude the conversation by saying……………….”That’s really great. We’ve been thinking about getting us some “ni**er” babies too. Can we adopt “those kind” from your place?” (I’m not sure what it is about little towns in Ohio and uneducated people – but “those kind” of people should never be allowed to have kids!)
5)We leave our kids with a 16 year-old who is a part of my sister’s church. I told her that they can be a handful and don’t be afraid to discipline them! She tells me she has a lot of experience and then proceeds to tell me…………………. “I think that if you just look into their eyes – they’ll know how you feel – and the behavior will just stop”. (Yeah, why didn’t I think of that? Go ahead and try that with Rosie! Let’s see where that takes you!)
4) While at the Kentucky State Fair I ask the guy who’s running a game, “What if I just give you 20.00 – would you let me buy that big stuff dog?” I told him I couldn’t win if I played – those games are tricky. He tells me that he never thought he could own this beautiful fair game but here he is – living out his dream!!! He sees our mission shirt and tries to make a power-move! He tells me that he believes that I can win it – he has “FAITH” and that the Book says, “You should teach your kids to have self-confidence by setting the example. So show your son that you can do it like God wants you to do.” I tell him that’s great – and ask him what book can that be found in (meaning Matthew, Mark, Luke). He tells me………………….. “Ma’am, I believe that book is the Bible – I really practice Wicka but it’s all basically the same thing.” (Okay – Now I’m scared!)
3) I just finished explaining about our children and how we left Gigi (our special-needs child) in Haiti because her passport wasn’t ready. The lady looks at me and then says………………….I think that’s really great what you do. We don’t see a lot of “retarded” children around here. I would have liked to have “seen” her. (I guess I should put her in the circus and charge admission!)
2)I just finished explaining all the girls’ stories – how they came into our life. I laugh and say – I’ve got 5 kids and four of them have different fathers!! They look at me and quietly ask……………Was that before you were a Christian? (Yes -of course – I used to have a reputation!)
1)One of the girls on the trip is talking to a baby orphanage worker. I see she is struggling as this is her second trip and the baby orphanage worker looks confused. I ask her if I can help translate and she looks at me and says harshly – “No, I don’t need your help – I speak Creole”. Then she turns back to the worker and very slowly and yet loudly says…………..Let-a Me-a Know-a When-a Rose-a Wakes-a Up-a! (You’re right – you don’t need my help because adding “a” at the end of the word makes it Creole! No matter how loud and slow you speak – stupid doesn’t translate!) **Sorry that was harsh but she did refuse my help! Let me just apologize right now for that. Please continue to sponsor my family! 🙂
Categories: Personal Stories, Top 10 List
Hey! Those of us who have been sent to OHIO as missionaries do not appreciate your comments! 🙂
LOL!! Without your ministry in OHIO I wouldn’t have any material to post!
I resemble(or is that resent) all your remarks about Ohio people.Living up here I think I know some of the people you are talking about. I hope the remarks a the state fairs are taken lightly, most of those people travel the circuit, and are realy from West Virginia(hope my wife and your Dad don’t read this) I will have mixed emotions when you get to return to Haiti. It will be good in that it means you are better, and Jose can fix everything. But sad that you won’t have as much time to entertain us with you top 10 lists.
love to all,