I Need A Savior…..

Does it take losing someone in order to find yourself? I haven’t slept in over a week….I can’t shut my mind down. It has given me many chances to be alone with the Lord and my thoughts. I’ve been thinking of children mourning over their mommy…… experiencing their first birthday today with someone significant missing….. just dealing with all the things that are left behind.

I’ve always known all along that you can’t take anything with you when you leave this world. I’ve experienced many deaths in Haiti – more than I can count. But I’ve never really lost someone here in the states. I’ve never had the “behind the scenes” view of what a grieving family goes through in America.

What do you do with the house? What do you do with everything in it? The jewelry you just had to have, the nicknacks you picked out on all your vacations, the closets full of clothes – – all of these things that we sacrifice to have – that we very well may deserve to have…….but it all stays here when we go “home”.

I have found myself thinking about what matters in this world. I keep hearing God tell me to not get caught up in the “little” things – – To not care about silly stuff that would normally keep me up at night. To not consume myself with thoughts about things I can’t change or don’t understand.

I feel like a light just came on inside of me. The only thing that we get to take with us to Heaven…..are the people that we brought to Jesus.  So why do we spend so much of our efforts on all these other things? I’m most certainly guilty as charged.

I have felt God speaking to me – leaving me speechless before Him. I have rekindled a passion that was once long forgotten. I have felt an intensity in His love that I cannot explain. No words can describe these new feelings that consume me.

I read this today and it had a powerful impact on me: You will never truly turn to the One who is strong…until you finally, truly acknowledge that you’re the one who is weak.

I don’t just need Jesus…..I need a SAVIOR. I need someone I can go to day or night – someone to rescue me from myself. I feel like God is telling me that I need to take a break from “Jody”. What if I just gave Him a year to do with me what He wants and I just follow without trying to take back the control? What if I just simply recognized how truly weak I am?

I feel like the past several days have shown me HOW MUCH I truly need Him. I am going to try harder than ever before to give God what He is asking of me. Please pray for me as I know that it will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I challenge you to give God those things that don’t matter but that consume your thoughts. What would happen in your life if you just “followed” without question and acknowledged how much you need a Savior?

This Song Keeps Playing In My Mind……

How many names – Can I use to explain
The love of my Jesus – The life that He gave
And so many times- Will I praise You today
I lift up my life – Cause You’re always the same
And my offering – To you I bring

Your name is Jesus
Your name is Jesus
You’re the wonderful, counselor, my friend
You’re what I hold on to
I know that You brought me through
All the days of loss and to the cross, You knew
That I’d need a Savior

How many songs – Can I sing to proclaim
Your wondrous love – Oh and beauty so great
Oh and, What would I say – If You brought down the rain
And everyday I walked through the pain – My heart would still say…

……All the days of loss, and to the cross You knew,
That I’d Need a Savior Well, I’d need a Savior….woah
You’re what I hold onto, I know that You brought me through
All the days of loss and to the cross You knew,
That I’d need a Savior
I’d need a Savior,
I need You Savior.

Comments

  1. Gregory Smith says:

    Hey there Castillo family…wow.

    My name is Gregory, and I play drums in the band Among the Thirsty. I came across your website and absolutely loved reading your blog. I noticed you mentioned Haiti – I have a really good friend who just moved there to work at an orphanage. I think it’s so cool how people like you and my friend can be so obedient to God, and make a difference somewhere completely out of your comfort zone. I was totally encouraged by your blog…the way you’ve found new life again through your Savior. Giving God my everything, and all my thoughts…that can be tough sometimes, because I want to control them. I feel ya on that!

    Keep doin what you’re doin. Even though I don’t know you guys, you are making me proud as a brother in Christ!

    God Bless,

    Gregory

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