In November of 2011, I posted a Thankful Blog for each day of the month. I’ve decided I would like to do something similar this month. I want to recall the blogs I posted and expand on my thankfulness.
My first blog is below. On this day I was thankful for unanswered prayers.
Though I couldn’t understand at first why God wouldn’t answer our prayers to start a family – I now know that He was actually creating a family far beyond my expectations. I just needed to wait upon the Lord.
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
On May 19th 2014 – our family was scheduled to fly into Haiti. However, God had different plans for me. My husband and I went to the hospital where I was admitted for emergency surgery. Jose was with me right before I went under and my sister was with me when I woke up.
It was too expensive to change all the tickets for my family… so my husband & kids flew on in without me. On this day we said good-bye to the baby I was carrying.
This summer Jose & I found out we were pregnant again – with twins. In my mind I thought in someway God was redeeming our loss from the previous year. Though no child can ever be replaced by another one – our sorrow turned to joy as we began to make our family plans.
Only on August 28th, our joy turned back into sorrow as we again said good-bye to our babies.
Though I may never understand why these things happened – though my prayers seem to go unanswered – I am believing that God is working all things out for His glory. I am believing God is doing something again that is so much bigger than any dream I could ever have. I am believing that God is ALL-KNOWING – ALL-POWERFUL – ALL-LOVING.
Today I am thankful for the beautiful family God has given me the privilege to raise as my own. A family that might not have come together if it weren’t for the years of unanswered prayers.
I am thankful for the way He brought Isebelle into our family just a few months after that post. I am thankful for every future child that He may choose to bring into our lives. I am also SO thankful for the family reunion I will get to have one day in Heaven!
SO Thankful…. Day 1
I was reading a friend’s Facebook post and they encouraged everyone to share something they’re thankful for each day of November! I LOVE that idea! I have so many things to be thankful for! Should be pretty easy to come up with 30 things right? Please join me! Maybe you don’t have a blog- but you could journal or at least wake-up each day and Thank God for His blessings on you!
Today I am thankful for unanswered prayers! Huh? Yes, seriously.
I know that many of us get frustrated when God doesn’t give us what we want or what we think we deserve. We sing – He gives and takes away…..He gives and takes away…. but man – some days it feels like He takes away a lot more than He gives!
Throughout our marriage and ministry so many things seemed unfair to Jose and I. Why did we struggle with support when other missionaries had no problem at all? How come we can’t start our family right away like all the other couples out there? Why does it feel like He’s answering everyone else’s prayers but not mine? UGH! (Know what I mean?)
Looking back – WOW! I had no idea of all the “behind the scenes” work my Father in Heaven was doing! He Gave and Gave and Gave – just not in the way I thought. It’s hard for us to understand when our deepest desires aren’t fulfilled in the way we thought they should be. What we neglect to see is that He shut the little door we’ve been fighting to pry open BECAUSE He’s got something up His sleeve that is far beyond anything we could have ever hoped for.
I am thankful that God didn’t answer my prayers when Jose and I wanted SO desperately to have children of our own. I really believe that if our prayers had been answered – perhaps we wouldn’t have opened our home to so many needy children trying to feel that void!
As we longed to be parents – our hearts and home were open to the dozens of beautiful little ones that God placed in our lives for one reason or another. And now I have Gigi, Mikela, & Rosie! I GET to be their parents! God used me to save them from their sickness! He used me to save them from their hunger and poverty!
THEN He gave me 4 more beauties! When the doctors said “no” – HE SAID YES!!! AGAIN AND AGAIN – AND AGAIN TIMES TWO!!
THANK YOU LORD FOR CREATING THIS BEAUTIFUL FAMILY JUST FOR ME!
IT’S BEYOND ANYTHING I COULD HAVE EVER DESIRED OR PRAYED FOR!