It’s about 1:30am and I can’t sleep. I went to bed around 8pm and woke up with a huge headache about an hour ago. I told Jose that my head hasn’t hurt that bad since I had Gabriel. I had an epidural that went up instead of down and gave me the worst headache ever. So I had natural childbirth since the epidural didn’t work and the worst headache on top of it. Then it hit me….today is Gabriel’s birthday.
I had this elaborate birthday party planned for him. It was going to be a baseball party in Haiti. I thought since this same July group spent so much time praying for me during the delivery – that this year we could have a huge celebration that Gabriel and I both made it.
I had a baseball pinata, gifts for 8 of Gabriel’s little friends, a baseball music cd, baseball pan to make a baseball cake, a mets uniform for him to wear to the party and cheerleading outfits for the girls to wear, plastic baseball hats for all of the kids, and tons of decorations and balloons.
Now I know that Gabriel doesn’t know that today is his birthday. For that matter – I barely remembered myself. My mom told me that my sister called today asking if she should do anything and they both agreed not to remind me since Gabriel isn’t even with me but in Columbus, OH.
Gabriel not being with me on his birthday was much like last year. After he was born, he was swept away to the NICU and I didn’t get to see him for the rest of the night. I didn’t get to hold him for over a week. I, myself, spent days in the hospital. So how strange that a year later – I’m finding myself back in and out of the hospital, I can’t see Gabriel, two of my nannies called and said that they’re getting up at 4am and going to the morning church service to pray for me just like they prayed last year, and I have this same group in Haiti praying for me again.
I’m finding myself a little misty-eyed so I think I’ll wrap this up. I just wanted to wish my little boy a Happy Birthday and let him know that I love him and that I didn’t forget this special day.
Gabriel at 1 month old:
Gabriel at 1 year old: