It’s about 1:30am and I can’t sleep. I went to bed around 8pm and woke up with a huge headache about an hour ago. I told Jose that my head hasn’t hurt that bad since I had Gabriel. I had an epidural that went up instead of down and gave me the worst headache ever. So I had natural childbirth since the epidural didn’t work and the worst headache on top of it. Then it hit me….today is Gabriel’s birthday.
I had this elaborate birthday party planned for him. It was going to be a baseball party in Haiti. I thought since this same July group spent so much time praying for me during the delivery – that this year we could have a huge celebration that Gabriel and I both made it.
I had a baseball pinata, gifts for 8 of Gabriel’s little friends, a baseball music cd, baseball pan to make a baseball cake, a mets uniform for him to wear to the party and cheerleading outfits for the girls to wear, plastic baseball hats for all of the kids, and tons of decorations and balloons.
Now I know that Gabriel doesn’t know that today is his birthday. For that matter – I barely remembered myself. My mom told me that my sister called today asking if she should do anything and they both agreed not to remind me since Gabriel isn’t even with me but in Columbus, OH.
Gabriel not being with me on his birthday was much like last year. After he was born, he was swept away to the NICU and I didn’t get to see him for the rest of the night. I didn’t get to hold him for over a week. I, myself, spent days in the hospital. So how strange that a year later – I’m finding myself back in and out of the hospital, I can’t see Gabriel, two of my nannies called and said that they’re getting up at 4am and going to the morning church service to pray for me just like they prayed last year, and I have this same group in Haiti praying for me again.
I’m finding myself a little misty-eyed so I think I’ll wrap this up. I just wanted to wish my little boy a Happy Birthday and let him know that I love him and that I didn’t forget this special day.
Gabriel at 1 month old:
Gabriel at 1 year old:
Today was not as productive as I would have liked. The Neurologist we were going to see is out of town this week. I was supposed to see his partner but his partner never knew so there was no appointment for the neurologist today. It’s scheduled for Wednesday at 1:30pm.
I did have my follow-up appointment with a doctor here in Versailles. My mom made me an appointment and the doctor we saw is actually the doctor who was on the school board and voted for me to graduate high school in 3 years so I could start nursing school. So that was kind of interesting! Just another one of those things where you know God is in control.
He did an evaluation and said that my right side is still significantly weaker than the left side. His interpretation of the MRI was different than the ER doctor’s interpretation. He thinks that there is enough evidence that I had a stroke which is very different than what I was told at first. Either way – neither doctor is really qualified to make the final judgment. So we’ll really know more on Wednesday when the neurologist looks at the actual MRI film. Both doctors though still recommended the cerebral angiogram.
In the meantime – my head still really hurts. It’s sore even to the touch. I’ve been prescribed some stronger pain pills but when I take them I’m pretty much knocked out for the day. At least they can’t complain I’m not resting enough. It seems like I’ve rested most of the weekend.
I had told my doctor that if I had extra pills left over I would just take them to Haiti and he snapped at me and said “You better not be going anywhere until we have this figured out”. I assured him I wasn’t going anywhere I was just “saying” that these would be great for the pharmacy!
Well it will be quiet on my end until Wednesday afternoon when I see the neurologist – Dr. Blake. Thanks so much for your prayers, emails, and comments. I’ve been extremely nervous – probably will be until I know what’s really going on. I’m thankful though that I do have so many people who care and love my family. You’ll never know how much that means to all of us.