I remember a song my mom used to have all us kids sing when she ran our children’s church back when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade. Randomly that song came to me tonight – It was called He’s Still Working On Me.
He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The Sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He’s still working on me.
There really ought to be a sign upon the heart,
Don’t judge him/her yet, there’s an unfinished part.
But I’ll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master’s loving hands.
In the mirror of His Word reflections that I see
Make me wonder why He never gave up on me.
He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He’s the Potter, I’m the clay.
Ever feel like you should have had a V8? For the last several months I’ve felt that way. I often go to Janeil and Heather with the latest internal battle that I’m fighting – nearly every other day! Having thought for years that I knew so many things – God is humbling me in so many ways and I’m truly realizing that I perhaps know nothing. Some of you are probably thinking – FINALLY – She knows that she doesn’t know!!
What I’m learning is that we’re never really done learning. I am finding this thirst for God and for peace that only He can give and while I do this from time to time – it’s somehow different this time. It’s something that I can’t explain and even as I write right now – I don’t really know what words to use.
It doesn’t seem right to ask for the Holy Spirit to come into my life – like what a new Christian would do. Yet I find myself on my knees before God asking him for that very thing. I feel like I’m in this constant battle with Satan and I often am left so weary. I rarely sleep at night with out the help of Tylenol PM – my mind just doesn’t shut down.
A few days ago, God sent us Curt. Now Curt is an amazing young man with a talent that only God could give. He plays the guitar so well but his words, his prayers, his ability to write songs or take existing scripture and set it to music completely leaves me in awe.
After an afternoon sharing with Heather some of the demons that literally are all around me – I found myself completely physically/emotionally/mentally overwhelmed. I saw Curt on my way out of Heather’s house and asked if he would lead a LONG praise and worship session that night.
One of the songs that he “made-up” was actually from scripture. In fact it was basically just setting scripture right to music. Matthew 11:28-29. “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden’s light”.
Now anyone else who would sing those words might not shed a tear. I found myself weeping. I knew that God used Curt to talk to me. We had this amazing – powerful – worship session that kept me in tears the entire time.
Is it really that easy – can I really find rest for my soul? How I long for that. I found myself completely overwhelmed by God’s willingness to carry my burdens….to help me find rest for my soul….. to be completely fine that he still has to work on me. I am finding myself not just thirsty – but parched – completely and utterly desperate for my Lord…….and for the first time in months – – I am sleeping harder than ever before.